Never Fearing Wild Things

It may go without saying that illness is amoral, but the reality is that we often – consciously or subconsciously – tie morality to illness.

Illness is often experienced as a spiritual punishment. I’ve been asked far too many times why would God ‘do this to me’, or ‘let this happen to me’? And whether we want to admit it or not, we often look at sick people and wonder what they did wrong to cause their illness. 

Certainly some immoral behaviour and choices can lead to illness, but that does not make the illness itself an immoral thing. 

As a child, feeling unwell was not tolerated. much in our house. Real sickness, evidenced by fever or vomiting, was given attention. But a headache was due to being hungry and fatigue evidence of laziness.

It is no wonder that, now, with a diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue (Long Covid) I find myself in a miasma of guilt and self-loathing at times. I wonder, “what is wrong with me, why can’t I just snap out of it, get out of bed, do some work?!” No doubt, there has been some terrible moral failure on my part!

And then people ask, or rather tell me, “You are all better now, aren’t you?” – after the prescribed period of illness has unfolded. We do not live in a world that tolerates chronic illness – especially underdiagnosed or misdiagnosed invisible illnesses.

Worrying about one’s moral failings is not a helpful way to navigate a healing journey. As I struggle to find my way out of this strange and insidious belief, I invite others to consider how they approach people who are unwell – especially with illnesses that are not understood, diagnosed or easily seen.